More Things I Don't Understand

Does anyone not actually put the Q-Tip inside their ear canal? Why do we all pretend like we don't? Why do the Q-Tip people pretend we don't?

Why would anyone put under-eye concealer on an infant, spurring a warning on the package from Almay not to do so?

(And I know what KP is going to say here but I'm one step ahead of you--putting self-tanner on a baby is a completely different thing. Tanya did what she had to do. You would have, too, if you had swapped babies with your super-hot bisexual boyfriend's Indian ex-wife so that no one would find out that your baby's father wasn't actually her ex-husband, but was the now-dead old guy with too much jewelry you married because he blackmailed you into it. This I understand.)

How or why would you get Chapstick in your eye? Why do they need a warning on their tube?

How can Adrianne Curry get so freaked out about Christopher Knight going to a strip club? She claimed that she was worried about ruining his "Peter Brady" reputation and disappointing his leigions of fans. Um, didn't he already to that by hooking up with this drama queen ho-bag and agreeing to be on another VH1 TV show with her? (They met on the Surreal Life, for anyone who missed that detail.)

Yeah, her regular control-freak behavior and drunken faux-lesbian bachelerette party freakout really help Knight's reputation a lot. Going to a strip club made the whole thing seem almost normal. I give this marriage, oh, about five minutes. These people are nuts. And I can say that as one who is clearly not nuts.

(Yes, I know the first three are about legal liability. Still.)