Two Minutes Short of Two Hours

This is how long it took me to get home on the bus today.

The bus ride should be about 20 minutes, tops, I'm guessing. I wouldn't know--today was my first day trying out the bus thing with my new office. My drive takes 10 minutes.

Oh, but no. I wanted to do the "right thing"--you know, conserve gas, "reduce my carbon footprint", blah blah blah. Bollocks to that.

I used to take the bus regularly when I worked downtown. I loved it. I had time to read, I didn't have to try to park downtown or pay downtown parking prices. Plus, it was the right thing to do.

I should have been alerted this morning when the bus going to the office was 15 minutes late. The woman waiting at the stop with me said, "Well, it's never been this late before." Hmmm. We got on the bus and had a pleasant little ride across town. The woman who was at the stop with me (let's call her Cute Girl--she makes a return to our story) and I got off at the same stop.

I went to work and had a positively craptastic day. Since my telephone wasn't working and then suddenly I couldn't send any email, I decided it was time to call it quits. I pulled out my handy-dandy RTD (Reason To Drive) schedule and made my way to Evans and Albion for my 3:23 bus. I left right exactly at 3:00 since I wasn't sure how long the walk would take.

I got to the stop and Cute Girl was there! She said, "You're not waiting for the 52, are you?" to which I replied, nervously, "Yes...?" She told me that it no longer stops there but she wasn't quite sure where to pick it up but she thought it was a block or so north. Okay, cool. She was waiting for another bus. More on that later. We're not done with Cute Girl.

So I call RTD and ask them where, praytell, has the stop moved since their map (dated August 2006) is no longer current. RTD Guy 1 (there's more than one...) says "Colorado Center", to which I reply, "Okay, I'm at Colorado Center--where?" There are some bus shelters, but no signs, no nothing indicating that this could be a working bus stop. RTD Guy says, "Hmmmm. I don't know. Why don't you cross Colorado Boulevard and go to the stop at Colorado and Buchtel?"

(As a totally unrelated side, it was only as an adult that I learned that Buchtel is not pronounced "Butch-l" but "Buck-tell." Go figure.)

So, I cross the street and walk to the lone bench with a sign that says "52". Hurrah. Victory is mine.

But not so fast there.

3:23 comes and goes.

At 3:35, a #21 bus pulls up. Stupid me, I don't get on it, but I do ask the driver if he knows anything about the 52. His reply? "Oh, that's one of the worst routes we've got! Good luck!" Why didn't I get on his bus? Why, God, Why?

At 3:45, I call RTD again, but this time there is a 10 minute hold time. As I'm standing there cursing everyone I can think of who might possibly be somehow responsible, guess who walks up? Cute Girl! She asks if I'm still waiting for the 52 and I roll my eyes and tell her that I'm on hold with RTD. She proceeds to tell me that there are about half a dozen people waiting at the stop where I left her. Waiting for a 21 bus! I tell her that one had just passed by and she looks like she could do serious harm to someone. She explains that she is now late for class.

RTD Guy 2 answers the phone and I ask him where the 3:23 52 is. He puts me on hold and comes back to tell me that it is at Alameda Station--2 stops past my home stop! How can that be, RTD Guy? No bus passed me. "Oh, but it did," he tells me.

We go back and forth and I ask when the next one is coming. He puts me on hold, and comes back to say (are you sitting down?), "One just passed you." Uh, no it didn't. "Yes, it did. You're on the north side of Buchtel, just west of Colorado?" Yes. "Well, the bus just passed you."

"Dude, I'm not crazy. A bus did NOT pass me."

So I walk up to Cute Girl and say, so RTD Guy can hear me, "Excuse me, did you see that 52 bus that just passed us?" She replies, loudly enough for RTD Guy to hear, "No, no bus passed us. Is this guy full of shit?"

So, on hold again, and he comes back to say there are detours due to road work on Colorado, blah blah blah. He doesn't know why we don't have any buses and doesn't really know where the Colorado Boulevard buses are stopping because of said road work. Uh, okay. So, I mention that the 52 eastbound has not been by in the 45+ minutes I've been standing there. He tells me, "No, it wouldn't--that route changed a while ago."

"Funny," I say, "I was just on the 52 eastbound this morning and we passed this exact spot where I'm standing. This is how I knew where to find the stop after the first time I called you guys." Then I mention that, curiously enough, a 21 bus passed this way, despite there being no sign for the 21 and despite Cute Girl telling me that it was on the wrong street--everyone else is waiting for it on Evans.

What does RTD Guy say? "No it didn't. The 21 doesn't go on Buchtel."

At this point, I say, something to the effect of "Thank you very much for your time, sir. I will be calling a cab now." It wasn't that polite but you get the idea.

So, I tell Cute Girl that I'll call a cab and we can drop her off at Denver University so she can make part of her class. I call, and they tell me they are on their way. Hurrah!

Ten minutes later, it's now about five minutes short of the one hour mark, not one but two 21 buses pull up. We get on the first one and I call to cancel the cab. This bus driver, since there were two of them, decided that they would make every stop and wait at those stops so the other bus could get further ahead.

Ten minutes later, I exit the bus at Evans and Broadway (waaaaay south of where I need to be) and as I leave, I wish Cute Girl good luck getting home and mention that I'll see her again when the new light rail line that stops at Colorado Center opens (November, thankfully!) She laughs.

The 0 bus, which normally turns up at least every 10 minutes took 15 minutes to arrive. Was it a limited (express) bus? Oh, heavens no! It's the one that stops on every other block. Yippee! We pull in to Broadway station, where the light rail lines come in, and since there is a bus in front of us just pulling out, our driver decides now would be a good time to sit for a while and read the paper. I hope he enjoyed Dear Abby.

I nearly missed my stop (don't ask) but alas did not, and I walked in the back door at 4:58 p.m.--two minutes short of two hours since I left the office.

Let me tell you, I cannot wait to get into my car tomorrow morning!

(And yes, I do feel better now. Thanks for asking.)