Rules Help Us Control the Fun, Part 1

No, seriously, they do.

I'm a bit of an etiquette geek. I collect books on the topic and I read anything I can get my hands on. I'm fascinated by how people behave, how people are supposed to be behave, and how that has changed over time.

Many complain that etiquette is "restricting" or that they don't subscribe to "all that" because it's perceived as being uptight or snooty. On the contrary, etiquette is liberating because it gives us guidelines about how to behave or respond, particularly in tricky or difficult situations. Besides, it's really nothing more than good manners.

And we all like good manners, right?

We've got trouble right now with our next door neighbors, who are affectionately (::cough::) known as the Deltas. You know, from Animal House? These are an updated, more stoned version of the Deltas, but they act like they live in a college frat house just the same. And again last night there was another party, complete with shrieking drunken girl in the front yard (it always seems to be a different one), and culminating with beer cans and cigarette butts all over our front yard and four crushed plants in our garden this morning.

You know, that's just not cool. What happened to being neighborly?

The funny (or sad, take your pick) thing is, these aren't kids--these are three guys in their early 30s. Three guys who don't seem to understand how you treat your neighbors and their things. We've tried talking to them. We've tried talking to their landlords. Now, the next stop will be talking to the police each and every time there is a noisy party going on.

Please don't think I'm the crazy old lady neighbor who yells at "those rotten kids!" every time they close a door or turn on a radio--that's not it at all. I'm all about the party and having friends in, but there are neighborly ways to do it and not-so-neighborly ways to do it. And when you have a shared wall....

So, this morning I delivered all of their trash to their front porch and Bruce Springsteen and I shared a little 6:30am jam session. Oh, I know that wasn't the neighborly thing to do, but when I saw four crushed plants in my yard this morning, it became war. And truthfully, it was all I could do not to bang on their door until someone answered. Alas, that would not have been at all polite.

I wonder what Miss Manners would say?

(For anyone interested in a hip, entertaining view of the dos and don'ts of polite society, check out the now-defunct Etiquette Grrls. They're not maintaining the Web site anymore but the archive is a treasure trove of information and laughs. )