I've Got One, Two, Three, Four, Five Senses Working Overtime

Part 1: Smell

The power of smell is an amazing thing. A few unexpected jolts lately:

Vinegar: Pulling the white vinegar from a kitchen cabinet last week made me think of dying Easter eggs. Yes, as kids we dyed Easter eggs. I don't know why but I remember the Pas kits and the little wire egg holder thingies, and my mom mixing up the dye and vinegar. Yet another thing I'll need to ask her about. Why in the world were we dying Easter eggs?

Cinnamon: The smell of cinnamon always reminds me of Cindy Pickerel's playhouse. She had the most amazing playhouse, complete with real windows and curtains. And it even had two rooms. I didn't like her much, but God, I loved that playhouse. She had a set of old spice tins that we filled with dried leaves so we could cook. The smell of dried leaves always makes me think of cinnamon and the smell of cinnamon makes me think of autumn and that wonderful, wonderful playhouse.

Kiss My Face Cream: I bought a starter kit of various creams and lotions from Kiss My Face (they rock!) and one of them smells like something from my 8th grade chemistry class with Mr. Leightinen, but I can't quite put my finger on what. I trust it's nothing dangerous.

Chives and Green Onions: Both of these remind me of riding Grandpa Bill's boat on Lake Lotawana in Missouri. When I was very young, Grandma and her second husband, Bill, lived out on the lake. Their house was fabulous and very fashionable and there were lots of drinks for everybody (except the kids....) This is where I learned to make "Grandma's Little Helper" of vodka and Fresca. But out on the boat, on one part of the lake, there was always the smell of chives or onions. I never learned which it was, and it was always strongest when the sun was hot, but the connection is burned into my brain.

Health Food Store Smell: When I first moved to Denver's Capitol Hill neighborhood more than 20 years ago, my favorite place to shop for food was Rainbow Market. It was a small little place, run by people wearing too much patchouli, and it had the most distinctive and wonderful smell of herbs, spices, and who knows what else. Rainbow closed years ago, after being bought out by Wild Oats, and I thought that smell was gone forever until I walked into my first Vitamin Cottage store about two years ago. I don't go to VC very often, but I was recently in their newest store--open less than 2 months--and it smelled, already, just like Rainbow.

Put Down Your Knives

Top Chef ends next week, and what an exciting season it's been! I make no secret of my love for trash TV, and I do love this stuff.

Top Chef is brought to us by the same people who brought us Project Runway and the upcoming Top Design. I love these reality show competitions where people are creating things. Yeah, it's all edited to maximize the drama, but I love a show where a handful of people can create innovative amuse bouche using two vending machines and a roll of quarters. What's not to love about that?

And of course, they didn't do what I would do, which would likely be something like a Dorito topped with processed cheese and maybe accented with Snickers shavings, but noooo, Carlos wins with a sunflower seed and carrot loaf with cilantro and sesame, served with Squirt and lime. Genius!

I love watching the creative process in action, and with this show, I'm actually less interested in all of the drama. This one is about creating great food, and so I've really had it with crybabies Elia and Ilan. I was soooo glad to see Elia eliminated before the finale--she's been complaining and crying since early on--and I sensed that host Padma Lakshmi (Mrs. Salman Rushdie Number Four, doncha know) took great pleasure in saying, "Elia, pack your knives and go" after Elia's pathetic little crybaby scene before the judges. She just had that look on her face.

Yeah, Marcel is a prick, but so what? He's a really creative prick, along the lines of chef Ferran Adria--and it's obvious that's where Marcel and his interest in food science draw a lot of inspiration. Yeah, he's an irritating little shit who makes too many foams, but his food is memorable.

An innovative, "top" chef's role is not to cook to the average Olive Garden diner (like, say, Michael) but to expand people's experiences and palates. Yeah, I wouldn't want to eat Marcel's meals (or Adria's) meals every night, but I'd pay a lot of money (someone else's preferably) for one evening in either of their kitchens. Bring on the Xantham gum pineapple poi and chili foam!

Fine dining, is a sensual experience; it's not about serving the same slop seven nights a week with your $9.99 All You Can Eat pasta special. It's about the whole experience--the tastes, the smells, the sights, the pairings of flavors in both the food and wine. The types of meals the Top Chef contestants are preparing (or should be...) are about these types of experiences and creations.

So, now we're down to two: Marcel and Ilan. I don't think much of Ilan, really. Sam or Cliff should have been in the finale instead, but given Marcel and Ilan's season-long rivalry (quoth Ilan: You know what's really funny Marcel, the first day I got here I've been wanting to smack you across the face. Why don't you fucking go to a new school, learn some shit, go to France, go to Spain, go travel, go relax, go learn how to use some fucking salt, paprika, come back to me, you know, come to New York, maybe I'll show you how to cook a little bit. I'll show you how to grill something. But until then shut the fuck up, keep making your foams and go cry in a corner!) I should have seen this pairing coming.

Oh well, it's been a fun season. I don't know who will win this one, though I suspect it could be Marcel, so may the best chef win. Now, bring on Top Design!

Moo Cow Fuck Milk

So, when I was up in Seattle, we sat down to have breakfast on Saturday morning, with a half gallon container of (full-fat--yuuum) milk. There was a banner across the front of the carton loudly proclaiming that this carton of Dairy Glen milk was rBGH-free. That is awesome--until now, the only milk I've seen that is rBGH-free is organic--and pricey.

rBGH is a growth hormone used to increase milk production in cows. Along with the use of it, has been an increase in udder infections, and an increased use of antibiotics, and thus, concerns of increased cancer risk for humans. Many environmental groups and also Physicians for Social Responsibility have been trying to educate the dairy and retail industries about the risk potential for years.

At one point during breakfast, the back of the carton was facing me and I noticed along side the nutritional information, there was a curious statement--and I'm paraphrasing--that the claims that milk without rBGH are healthier for you have not been proven.

Um, okay. I stopped a minute and processed the whole thing. What an odd statement on a carton of milk. And it made me wonder why milk containing rBGH does not also have a statement explaining to consumers that the hormone has not been proven safe by the FDA. Alas, that's the power of the dairy and farming lobbies in our country.

In doing a bit more research on the topic, I found a news article stating that Safeway stores in the Pacific Northwest are now making all of their Lucerne brand milk rBGH-free. I've written to Safeway's corporate office to ask when Colorado stores will get the same. If you want to write to Safeway, all of their corporate contact information is here. I plan to also write to King Soopers (our local Kroger store), too. It's only when we, as consumers, tell them what we want, that we will get it. If we don't tell them, they don't know.

I Can See the Sea!

Well, I can't anymore-- just a snowy street now--but I did on the weekend!

I spent the last few days in Seattle, both working and visiting friends. It's one of my favorite cities, and despite having to put in a few hours of work, I had a wonderful time seeing friends.

I got to visit two of the best stores: Elliott Bay Book Company and Archie McPhee. At Elliott Bay, I saw my old Tattered Cover friend, T., and we caught up and shared some favorite book titles. At Archie McPhee, I loaded my basket with things like gummy rubber chickens and Uncle Oinker's (strawberry-flavored) gummy bacon, complete with a bacon viewing window! I really, really, really wanted to get some to send to my friend, Becca, but alas it is not Kosher. I'm not sure why that surprised me, but oddly enough, it did.

Then, I met up with old friends S. and B. and their adorable little daughter who we will call Bananas. She is called "Bananas" because of a Sesame Street sketch but I can't find it to share, so you'll just have to trust me that it's really funny.

We got out a bit--to the zoo, where we saw:

ducks
penguins
a jaguar
gorillas
a monkey
and a peacock.

Then, we went over to West Seattle, so Kay could "see the sea", which was a confusing concept for a 3 year old. She understood making monkey faces much better. We had a lovely lunch, walked on the beach, and got snacks from the amazing Alki Bakery. It was a mostly clear day, cool and partly cloudy, and a welcome change from icy Denver.






Our time out was limited, but that was fine by me. A 3 year old needs lots of down-time, and so does her daddy, who has MS.

My friend S. is a truly incredible man, and while it pains me every time I see how limited his mobility has become, I am still astounded by the things he is able to do--and by his brain. He was diagnosed about 15 years ago, when we worked together at Tattered Cover. The diagnosis was devastating. It would be bad enough for anyone, but S. is an actor and an amazing one at that.

The news came when he was in rehearsals for Hamlet--and he was playing the lead role. The show did go on, with S. playing the only left-handed Hamlet in history, that we are aware of.

Over the years, his condition has worsened and he's starting to have some cognitive impact, too, but all-in-all he is happy and healthy. He works near their home in Seattle, but is unable to walk the less than 10 minutes required to get to his office. Mostly, he is wheel-chair bound, though he can get around the house to get food, drinks, books, etc.--when Kay doesn't leave her chair pulled out and in his way, that is.

His brain is just amazing. S. is one of the funniest and smartest people I've ever met. When I walked into the house Friday night, he reminded me that when he falls down, unless there is blood, it is funny. (That's a hard one to get your head around....) And he routinely pulls the "I have a disease, you know" card, particularly when he's done something utterly stupid that has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with his MS.

When I go on Who Wants to be a Millionaire (check your local listings), he will be one of my lifelines. Some things I learned from him this weekend:

*Jacqueline du Pre and Daniel Barenboim were married. Who knew? (I learned this while he was tucking Bananas into bed on Friday night. They were having a conversation. It was a bit one-sided.)
*S. is personally responsible for starting the Wikipedia list of Lawrence Olivier's stage performances--and he composed it mostly from memory.
*Paul Schaffer wrote "It's Raining Men" and it was offered to a number of singers before The Weather Girls recorded it.
*Salman Rushdie's third wife was Marianne Wesson. I knew that but couldn't recall her name. He could.
*Helen Mirren is at the top of his "list of five".

There was more, but my brain, unlike his, is a sieve.

Oh, and he knows Martin Freeman and has met John Hannah. ::thud::

His wife, B., is truly incredible, too, but I've gone on long enough for today. She loves their life together, with the patience of a saint and the good humor of, well, I don't know but someone with very good humor.

So, we had a wonderful weekend full of lots of laughter--and thankfully, no falls. And now it's back to snowy Denver, where we got another six inches yesterday. The break was lovely while it lasted.

Shaking Out the Snow

Look! We have a street! Our street has a yellow line down the middle! We haven't seen that in nearly a month.

Alas, it is supposed to snow again this weekend--make that weekend number five in row--but I won't be here for it. I'm off on a combination business/pleasure trip today and hope to come back filled with stories of exotic lands and interesting people.

Gobstruck

I can't even respond in any coherent manner right now. Just read this. And then talk to me about the "liberal media bias" because I'm guessing most readers haven't seen this anywhere in the media.

AP: Iran Gets Army Gear in Pentagon Sale

By SHARON THEIMER

Associated Press Writer

WASHINGTON (AP) - Fighter jet parts and other sensitive U.S. military gear seized from front companies for Iran and brokers for China have been traced in criminal cases to a surprising source: the Pentagon.

In one case, federal investigators said, contraband purchased in Defense Department surplus auctions was delivered to Iran, a country President Bush has branded part of an ``axis of evil.''

In that instance, a Pakistani arms broker convicted of exporting U.S. missile parts to Iran resumed business after his release from prison. He purchased Chinook helicopter engine parts for Iran from a U.S. company that had bought them in a Pentagon surplus sale. Immigration and Customs Enforcement agents say those parts did make it to Iran.

Sensitive military surplus items are supposed to be demilitarized or ``de-milled'' - rendered useless for military purposes - or, if auctioned, sold only to buyers who promise to obey U.S. arms embargoes, export controls and other laws.

Yet the surplus sales can operate like a supermarket for arms dealers.

``Right Item, Right Time, Right Place, Right Price, Every Time. Best Value Solutions for America's Warfighters,'' the Defense Reutilization and Marketing Service says on its Web site, calling itself ``the place to obtain original U.S. Government surplus property.''

Federal investigators are increasingly anxious that Iran is within easy reach of a top priority on its shopping list: parts for the precious fleet of F-14 ``Tomcat'' fighter jets the United States let Iran buy in the 1970s when it was an ally.

In one case, convicted middlemen for Iran bought Tomcat parts from the Defense Department's surplus division. Customs agents confiscated them and returned them to the Pentagon, which sold them again - customs evidence tags still attached - to another buyer, a suspected broker for Iran.

``That would be evidence of a significant breakdown, in my view, in controls and processes,'' said Greg Kutz, the Government Accountability Office's head of special investigations. ``It shouldn't happen the first time, let alone the second time.''

A Defense Department official, Fred Baillie, said his agency followed procedures.

``The fact that those individuals chose to violate the law and the fact that the customs people caught them really indicates that the process is working,'' said Baillie, the Defense Logistics Agency's executive director of distribution. ``Customs is supposed to check all exports to make sure that all the appropriate certifications and licenses had been granted.''

The Pentagon recently retired its Tomcats and is shipping tens of thousands of spare parts to its surplus office - the Defense Reutilization and Marketing Service - where they could be sold in public auctions. Iran is the only other country flying F-14s.

``It stands to reason Iran will be even more aggressive in seeking F-14 parts,'' said Stephen Bogni, head of Immigration and Customs Enforcement's arms export investigations. Iran can produce only about 15 percent of the parts itself, he said.

The GAO, the investigative arm of Congress, found it alarmingly easy to acquire sensitive surplus. Last year, its agents bought $1.1 million worth - including rocket launchers, body armor and surveillance antennas - by driving onto a base and posing as defense contractors.

``They helped us load our van,'' Kutz said. Investigators used a fake identity to access a surplus Web site operated by a Pentagon contractor and bought still more, including a dozen microcircuits used on F-14 fighters.

The undercover buyers received phone calls from the Defense Department asking why they had no Social Security number or credit history, but they deflected the questions by presenting a phony utility bill and claiming to be an identity theft victim.

The Pentagon's public surplus sales took in $57 million in fiscal 2005. The agency also moves extra supplies around within the government and gives surplus military gear such as weapons, armored personnel carriers and aircraft to state and local law enforcement.

Investigators have found the Pentagon's inventory and sales controls rife with errors. They say sales are closely watched by friends and foes of the United States.

Among cases in which U.S. military technology made its way from surplus auctions to brokers for Iran, China and others:

-Items seized in December 2000 at a Bakersfield, Calif., warehouse that belonged to Multicore, described by U.S. prosecutors as a front company for Iran. Among the weaponry it acquired were fighter jet and missile components, including F-14 parts from Pentagon surplus sales, customs agents said. The surplus purchases were returned after two Multicore officers were sentenced to prison for weapons export violations. London-based Multicore is now out of business, but customs continues to investigate whether U.S. companies sold it military equipment illegally.

In 2005, customs agents came upon the same surplus F-14 parts with the evidence labels still attached while investigating a different company suspected of serving as an Iranian front. They seized the items again. They declined to provide details because the investigation is still under way.

-Arif Ali Durrani, a Pakistani, was convicted last year in California in the illegal export of weapons components to the United Arab Emirates, Malaysia and Belgium in 2004 and 2005 and sentenced to just over 12 years in prison. Customs investigators say the items included Chinook helicopter engine parts for Iran that he bought from a U.S. company that acquired them from a Pentagon surplus sale, and that those parts made it to Iran via Malaysia. Durrani is appealing his conviction.

An accomplice, former Naval intelligence officer George Budenz, pleaded guilty and was sentenced in July to a year in prison. Durrani's prison term is his second; he was convicted in 1987 of illegally exporting U.S. missile parts to Iran.

-State Metal Industries, a Camden, N.J., company convicted in June of violating export laws over a shipment of AIM-7 Sparrow missile guidance parts it bought from Pentagon surplus in 2003 and sold to an entity partly owned by the Chinese government. The company pleaded guilty, was fined $250,000 and placed on probation for three years. Customs and Border Protection inspectors seized the parts - nearly 200 pieces of the guidance system for the Sparrow missile system - while inspecting cargo at a New Jersey port.

``Our mistake was selling it for export,'' said William Robertson, State Metal's attorney. He said the company knew the material was going to China but didn't know the Chinese government partially owned the buyer.

-In October, Ronald Wiseman, a longtime Pentagon surplus employee in the Middle East, pleaded guilty and was sentenced to 18 months in prison for stealing surplus military Humvees and selling them to a customer in Saudi Arabia from 1999 to 2002. An accomplice, fellow surplus employee Gayden Woodson, will be sentenced this month.

The Humvees were equipped for combat zones and some weren't recovered, Assistant U.S. Attorney Laura Ingersoll said.

-A California company, All Ports, shipped hundreds of containers of U.S. military technology to China between 1994 and 1999, much of it acquired in Pentagon surplus sales, court documents show. Customs agents discovered the sales in May 1999 when All Ports tried to ship to China components for guided missiles, bombs, the B-1 bomber and underwater mines. The company and its owners were convicted in 2000; an appeals court upheld the conviction in 2002.

Rep. Christopher Shays, R-Conn., called the cases ``a huge breakdown, an absolute, huge breakdown.''

``The military should not sell or give away any sensitive military equipment. If we no longer need it, it needs to be destroyed - totally destroyed,'' said Shays, until this month the chairman of a House panel on national security. ``The Department of Defense should not be supplying sensitive military equipment to our adversaries, our enemies, terrorists.''

It's no secret to defense experts that valuable technology can be found amid surplus scrap.

On a visit to a Defense Department surplus site about five years ago, defense consultant Randall Sweeney literally stumbled upon some that shouldn't have been up for sale.

``I was walking through a pile of supposedly de-milled electrical items and found a heat-seeking missile warhead intact,'' Sweeney said, declining to identify the surplus location for security reasons. ``I carried it over and showed them. I said, 'This shouldn't be in here.'''

Sweeney, president of Defense and Aerospace International in West Palm Beach, Fla., sees human error as a big problem. Surplus items are numbered, and an error of a single digit can make sensitive technology available, he said. Knowledgeable buyers could easily spot a valuable item, he added: ``I'm not the only sophisticated eye in the world.''

Baillie said the Pentagon is working to tighten security. Steps include setting up property centers to better identify surplus parts and employing people skilled at spotting sensitive items. If there is uncertainty about an item, he said, it is destroyed.

Of the 76,000 parts for the F-14, 60 percent are ``general hardware'' such as nuts and bolts and can be sold to the public without restriction, Baillie said. About 10,000 are unique to Tomcats and will be destroyed.

An additional 23,000 parts are valuable for military and commercial use and are being studied to see whether they can be sold, Baillie said.

Asked why the Pentagon would sell any F-14 parts, given their value to Iran, Baillie said: ``Our first priority truly is national security, and we take that very seriously. However, we have to balance that with our other requirement to be good stewards of the taxpayers' money.''

Kutz, the government investigator, said surplus F-14 parts shouldn't be sold. He believes Iran already has Tomcat parts from Pentagon surplus sales: ``The key now is, going forward, to shut that down and not let it happen again.''

Bend It Like That One Guy

The big news yesterday (aside from Denver getting the DNC convention--more about that at some point, I'm sure) is that international football star David Beckham is coming to play for the LA Galaxy, in a deal reported to be $250m (in salary and endorsements) over five years.

Beckham, as you may have heard, is huge. He's, like, bigger than the Beatles. Or Jesus. People who know nothing else about football know the name David Beckham.

For several years he played for Manchester United (the Yankees of Premier League football) and then in 2003, he left to play for Real Madrid. After a dismal World Cup performance in 2006, Beckham stepped down as team captain, and then later was removed from the squad altogether by England's new coach, Steve McClaren.

At that time, we speculated that he'd probably be coming to the States soon. As a football player, Beckham is past his prime (though still a very strong player) and the day-to-day grind of playing at the international level takes a toll on one's body. By coming to the United States to play for MLS, he's able to retire with grace and dignity, make buckets of money, and not have to work as hard as he would in Europe. It's sorta like pro ice skaters doing the Ice Capades tour.

Part of the reason he's coming to MLS is to help increase the profile of football in the United States. As Keith Olbermann pointed out last night on Countdown, others have tried before--Pele, George Best, and others--without success. But I think the time might just be right for Beckham to have an impact. Football is more popular here today than it's ever been, and with an increase in both youth leagues and the Hispanic/Latino population, that popularity will only grow.

A great example--last summer, XM Radio had a 24/7 World Cup channel and it was insanely popular. Show hosts were frequently commenting that they couldn't believe the volume of calls they were getting or the smart, educated questions and commentary from callers. I think that took everyone by surprise, myself included. We saw more mentions of World Cup during the summer than I've seen for any other one yet, with more bars opting to show matches--and those bars were packed with fans.

I think David Beckham can do a lot for Major League Soccer--maybe not save it, and certainly not change its status in the world arena--but he will increase its visibility. Someone yesterday asked me about MLS, and I had to stretch to think if we've ever been to a match. We were, years ago, but it's not something we follow at all.

To me, it's like watching AAA baseball when you could be watching a World Series game. Yeah, sometimes it's fun, but the caliber of play is night and day. MLS is soooooo sloooooow. But you can bet we'll be buying tickets the minute we can to watch the Colorado Rapids v. the LA Galaxy this summer.

And, if nothing else, we always have the lovely and talented Victoria "Posh" Beckham to take America by storm. Ooh, and speaking of which! Here's a great way to learn more about the Royal couple. Check out this Ali G. interview of the fabulous Becks & Posh. (And get the kids out of the room....)

An Idea to Get Us Out of the War

Courtesy of my brother, over at "Bulk of the Series."

"If only W would support stem cell research we could clone a bunch of Arnold Schwartzeneggers to send to Iraq."

Then an army of Ahnolds could provide health care for everybody! That is what he meant...right?

We Don't Consent

This is from the email newsletter of one of our state Senators. Sadly, he's not mine but he is Colorado Majority Leader now, so I guess I get to claim him, too! Senator Gordon says it better than I would have, so I'm sharing the whole piece. His "low-grade state of horror" comment is dead on--and it's also the problem. Until the American people are at full-boil, little, if anything, will change.

Please, I know I've said it before, but now is the time to contact your Senators and Representatives. Project Vote Smart has a complete list of addresses and phone numbers. The Democrats are in the majority now in both chambers and we can make a difference if we chose not to be steam-rolled by the administration. And if you want to reach Senator Gordon yourself for any reason, he is at ken@kengordon.com.

James Dean, an army reservist from Maryland, locked himself in his father’s house and threatened to commit suicide on learning that, after having already served 18 months in Afghanistan, he was being sent to Iraq. A neighbor said that he was a good boy, but the notice of his deployment sent him into a spiral of depression. The standoff with police ended when he was shot in the chest and killed. His death will show up on Maryland homicide statistics, not the Iraq war deaths. I have been in a state of low-grade horror ever since we knew the outcome of the 2000 Presidential election. It was clear to me that we had elected an insecure person as President who would not be the primary decision maker in his own administration. It was also clear to me that he substituted a commitment to ideology and religion for knowledge, study and analysis. He compensated for a lack of intellectual discipline by denying that the products of intellect matter. In 2000 I didn’t predict that in six years he would have done as much damage as he has--I was hopeful that he would have humility and take advice from a broad spectrum--but in retrospect it does not seem surprising. There are experts about Iraq, Iran and the Middle East. I am not one of them. What I do know, though, would have made me very cautious about attempting to impose our will on this region by force. America has a history that has created a positive legend and a justifiable pride in its citizens. We fought for our own liberty. We created a democracy. We fought again against slavery and again against egregious dictatorships. Our prosperity and strength has made us proud but has also made us insular and arrogant. Iraqis have a history and legend as well. This I don’t know as well, but I know that the people of the region remember the Crusades where Europeans came into the region and committed ruthless and indiscriminant murder. After the First World War the British imposed their will by force. In 1953 the American CIA helped overthrow Mossadegh of Iran and imposed the Shah, a cruel and heartless leader, albeit an American “friend.” Perhaps the pride of the Iraqis is bound up in throwing the foreigners out of the region. Maybe the Iraqi patriots are those who fight against us. It is likely that we are on the wrong side of the history of the region, a region that nurses a sense of wronged injustice and humiliation. Now the administration is saying put more troops in Iraq, a ”surge” it is called. We have 130,000 troops there now. Some are saying that if we had 160,000 it would make the difference. I don’t know, but I do know this. We had 550,000 troops in Vietnam, a country of similar population. I also know that I don’t trust the people who are saying a surge will help. They have been wrong so many times. And they aren’t just accidentally wrong. They are programmed to be wrong because their decisions are ideological and not fact-based. They cannot admit to making a mistake. This is more true of people who rely on ideology than those who rely on facts, because if someone who makes decisions based on ideology is wrong, than the ideology is wrong, and that is all they have. It is their core. If Bush’s ideology is wrong, then he has nothing. This Administration is causing Americans and Iraqis to die in the Middle East, with a consequent reduction in the influence and safety of our country, in order to protect an always doomed and now obviously failed ideological approach. I went to Washington in November of 1969 to protest against the War in Vietnam. As an attorney I represented people who were arrested for protesting against aid to the Contras and who blocked the entrance to the Rocky Flats nuclear weapons plant. The current situation even more strongly demands action by the American people. We buy the bullets and the bombs with our taxes. We elected the President who decided to send James Dean back to the war. Our silence is consent. Our President does not have the moral seriousness, the intellectual strength or the mature judgment for us to acquiesce in the decisions he is making in our name. We need to take some form of peaceful action to demonstrate our lack of consent. Any suggestions?

House of Cards, or An Open Letter to President Bush

Dear Mr. President,

I am writing in response to your opinion piece "What the Congress Can Do for America" in the 1/3/07 issue of the Wall Street Journal.

Oh, but aren't you clever, trying to turn everything on its head? You do realize, don't you, that the problems our country faces today are not the fault of the Democratic party--the party that has been out of office the entire time you've been in office, and that the Democrats are not responsible for fixing your messes, right? Sorry--silly me, and I even read the piece!

This "partisan environment of today's Washington" of which you speak--do you mean the one created by a Republican Executive and Congress? Those elected officials who have been trying to push through their/your partisan agenda for the last six years? The ones Democrats have been trying to work with (and despite), to no avail?

You state "I believe we share many of the same goals for the people we serve..." Really? My party seeks to uphold the Constitution and make this country a better place for all of its citizens. What goals does yours seek? War profiteering? 3000 more Americans dead in an ill-conceived war? More deficit spending? Your administration has done anything but try to uphold the Constitution and for that, you will go down in history as one of the worst Presidents this country has ever seen. History, rightly so, will not be kind to you, sir.

You talk about "common sense" principals. To me, "common sense" involves defending the same Constitution you swore to uphold. What happened to that oath? I guess there isn't much money to be made in doing that, is there?

You speak of the creation of the USA Patriot Act after 9/11 and that "we" came together. The only "we" that came together were the people you scared half to death into thinking you had their best interests at stake. You were lucky to get re-authorization, but the people are wising up. You tried to scare us into submission and at long last, the American public isn't buying it anymore.

Your opinion piece this week talks about bridging partisan gaps and working together, yet in the same piece you state--once again--that you want a line-item veto and you go so far as to warn (yes, warn!) Congress about passing bills that are "simply political statement" (like the USA Patriot Act, Mr. President?) that they will be stopped. You've also asked for 20,000 more troops for Iraq, in complete contraction of the Generals on the ground and the recommendations of the Iraq Study Group. Truly, you must live in a parallel universe if you think either of these things will come to any good.

This is an odd little piece you've written (you did write it, yes?), demonstrating how brilliantly you talk out of both sides of your mouth, often saying one thing and meaning another.

While the Democrats cannot single-handedly fix the things you've (deliberately or not) destroyed, we will make headway, with or without your support. Speaker Pelosi and the Democratic leadership heard the people speak in November. You claim to have as well, but reading this letter from you in the Wall Street Journal convinces me (more than ever) otherwise.

You, sir, are a lame duck. Please step aside and let our Congress do the people's business without impediment. Funny, but I used to think of Ronald Reagan as our country's Francis Urquhart--you know, the Machiavellian anti-hero of Michael Dobbs's brilliant and chilling political trilogy--but I think you're actually more like him, just in a more folksy sorta way, which is actually much more dangerous and frightening.

But even Francis Urquhart knew that "[n]othing lasts forever. Even the most glittering reign must come to an end." Thankfully, Mr. President, yours is nearing its end, and not a moment too soon.

All the President's Men

This week is the funeral of Gerald Ford, our 38th President.

I wasn't a fan of his, really, but I've been thinking a lot about his life, his legacy, and his family. Here are some random musings, maybe or maybe not in any logical progression. Just stuff I've been thinking about.

First, let's set the record straight so there is no confusion later. His pardon of Richard Nixon 1974 is unforgivable. What Nixon did to this country was both shameful and criminal and he should have been punished for it. Ford's "full and unconditional" pardon smacked of cronyism and shady insider dealings. It was wrong. Period.

Had Ford not pardoned Nixon, we may not be in the state we're in today. As Nigel so adeptly put it, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Hastert, et. al.--they key players coming up under Nixon--would have been "relegated to the dustbin of history." Sadly, that wasn't to be and look at where we're at today under their "leadership" and influence.

My friend Scott posed this question yesterday by email: "Has ever a good man had so many genuinely evil people speak at his funeral?" That's a good one and it prompted a lengthy email conversation between Scott, Richard, and me. Look at the Who's Who of speakers over the last few days. None of them, save Jimmy Carter, are anyone I'd want speaking at my funeral. It seems like such an odd dichotomy that a decent man had so many friends who appear to be so hell-bent on fucking up this country.

Let me clarify. I don't think most of them are out to deliberately fuck it up, but that is the result of their greed and short-sighted neo-Con policies and politics. But I digress.

I don't think Gerald Ford was a bad man. On the contrary. A person is not the sum of one dead, they are the sum of all of their deeds, and all-in-all, Gerald Ford was a decent human being. On the scale of past Presidents, I actually put him on the side closer to Jimmy Carter than to any of the other more recent ones. Both made better past Presidents than sitting Presidents.

Was Ford a naive man? Perhaps. Was he a saint, as the revisionist brush of the 24 Hour News Cycle would like to paint him? No. Note: the same media who used to vilify and wait anxiously for him to stumble--literally or figuratively. I get paying respect to someone who served our country as he did--from the Presidency to the Vice Presidency, to the House of Representatives, Gerald Ford gave himself to our country. That is a major sacrifice. I'm not so sure about the pageantry of it all, and spreading it out over four days, but my ramblings are going on long enough as it is.

In closing, I just want to reflect a moment on the style and grace that is the Ford family. I cannot imagine four days of funerals and ceremonies, pomp and circumstance. A funeral for a family member is a raw and emotional time, and having cameras in your face non-stop, and the public wanting to pay their respects, has got to take a toll. Yet, Betty Ford and her children have faced it head-on with dignity and grace. The shots of President Ford's adult children greeting the pubic earlier in the week were moving, and the shots of Betty Ford during yesterday's funeral are heartbreaking. For their sake, I hope all of this public pageantry ends soon so they can return to mourning in private and healing their hearts.

The Post Without a Title

I've been pondering topics for an uplifting and optimistic sort of post to launch the new year. But really, that is so not me.

Instead, I will share with you, Dear Reader, all of the things I missed out on as a kid because we are Jewish. Oh, okay, that's not exactly right. Let me clarify. These are the things that I thought we missed out on because we're Jewish. In the last few months, my brother and I have been discussing this topic a lot and I've asked my mom about several of them, which leads her to laugh her ass off at me every single time.

Highlights for Children: B. and I were both under the assumption that this was a Christian publication and that was the reason we didn't get the magazine at home. It's not, I learned after extensive Google-research. When I asked my mom about it, after she quit laughing (at me), she said, "I thought it was a terrible magazine!"

Chicken in a Biskit: And what the hell is a "biskit"? No one ever told me... I'm guessing because we're Jewish.

Easy-Bake Oven: My friend Patricia Dolan had one and it was kept in her bedroom where a picture of Jesus hung above her bed. She warned me never to look him directly in the eyes, but now I don't remember why.... We used to cook bologna (I'm guessing it wasn't Kosher) in her Oven. The memory of the smell still makes me a little queasy.

Trixie Belden mysteries: We got Nancy Drew and the Hardy Boys. I guess they were okay.

Chicken and dumplings: This one just came to me in the grocery store last week. I love chicken and dumplings but only ever had it as an adult. I don't know why that is. Maybe it's because of all the matzo balls? I do love me some matzo balls.

And the greatest insult of all? Saturday morning cartoons. Yeah, get this.

When we were kids, our synagogue didn't have its own building so we rented space from a church. Since they had to have services on Sunday, we had "Saturday school" instead of "Sunday school", which I didn't realize was unusual until I was an adult. I also didn't realize it was weird to have a cross in your shul. No wonder I'm such a confused Jew. But I digress.

So, we'd leave our home in our northwest suburb to travel clear out to southwest Denver every single Saturday morning, in our yellow station wagon. My friends were home in their pajamas, undoubtedly eating tasty delights made in their Easy Bake Ovens or Chicken in a Biskit, and watching Scooby Doo.

If we were lucky (the weeks we didn't go to Aunt Rose's house after to eat Lipton Noodle Soup and tuna salad), we would make it home in time for Fat Albert. Excuse me? Fat Albert sucked. I've spent years making up for my lost cartoon time.

Anyway, it's just funny how you get things stuck in your head as a kid and you don't think about them again for years and years and years until for some unknown reason they pop back in out of the blue. I'm sure there are plenty of other things we missed out on "because we're Jewish" but these are the ones I've been recalling and pondering lately.

I think I might make me some chicken and dumplings with a side of Chicken in a Biskit for dinner tonight.