I'm a Kinky Girl

Erm, that is, I support Kinky Friedman for Governor.

Hunh? Wha?

Kinky Friedman, a man whose personality is as big as Texas itself, is running for Governor of that fine state. Kinky is a long-time musician--perhaps you've heard of Kinky Friedman and the Texas Jewboys? (One of their songs is "They Don't Make Jews Like Jesus Anymore.")

He's also a bestselling author, with at least a dozen novels featuring detective Kinky Friedman. Some of the best titles are "The Love Song of J. Edgar Hoover" (Nice tip o' the hat to T.S. there, Kinky) and "Kill Two Birds and Get Stoned". He's also written a number of nonfiction titles and has been a contributor to Texas Monthly for years. He's the new Jesse "The Body" Ventura, if you will--and then some. He's a Friend of Willie, he's brash and funny, he likes Jameson whiskey--what else could you need to know?

In 2003 and 2004 I spent a fair amount of time in Austin on business. Kinky was all the buzz, as he'd announced his candidacy for Governor. Was he serious? Was it a joke? What was it? I think it did start as a joke--his early website and the early materials didn't seem to take any of it too terribly seriously and one of the quotes being tossed around at the time was Kinky himself saying that the first thing he'd do, should he be elected, is resign.

But something changed. Not being a Texan and not following Texas politics that closely, I don't know what it was, but there was a shift. In the last year, his campaign has taken on a more serious (yet always still irreverent) tone. Kinky's been featured on 60 Minutes and in other media. His website lists the issues and his stands on them.

I don't support all of his positions (I rarely do with candidates), primarily his support of the 2nd Amendment and his death penalty stance. His key issues are: teacher pay (they should be getting more), renewable energy (yes, and he's a big supporter of Willie Nelson's biodiesel initiative), and border control (more is needed; let's get more security on the border and enforce the laws already on the books.) There is some good reading on his website.

Why does this matter? And why does it matter if you don't live in Texas?

Well, first off it's a really fun race to watch. The Austin Business Journal recently reported that in a survey of Texas voters, of the four candidates running, Kinky's currently got 47% of the vote. I don't know the margin of error and all of that, but I do know that polling at 47% when you're the "joke" candidate is saying something. It's saying that the voters of Texas have had enough of Rick Perry and his ilk and that they're ready for change--big change--much like the voters of Minnesota were several years ago.

And how can you not love a campaign whose t-shirts and bumper stickers say "No Teacher Left Behind", "He's Not Kinky, He's My Governor", and "My Governor is a Jewish Cowboy"?

Secondly, this country is about people-powered politics. We are a democracy and one of the key tenets of a democracy is the participation of the people. Kinky Friedman is a citizen. He's not a career politician, he's not a bureaucrat, he's one of us. A rich one of us, but one of us none-the-less. He makes people think and he encourages us to challenge the status-quo. That's never wrong (unless you're in the Bush administration....)

To those who might charge that a Friedman campaign makes a mockery of politics and the political process, I reply that campaigns such as Joe Lieberman's and Tom Tancredo's are the bigger mockeries. Lieberman has demonstrated time and again that he is out of step with the Democratic party, yet he's doing remarkably well in the polls against Ned Lamont and Alan Schlesinger, becoming, as the Christian Science Monitor recently stated, "...in effect...the Republican in the race." (For all practical purposes, it appears the true Republicans in Connecticut have disappeared, opting to save their energy and money to let the two Dems duke it out this time.)

And then there is Tom Tancredo. Tancredo is from my home state of Colorado and he makes us cringe on a regular basis. He is a right-wing fearmonger who truly is (I believe) out of step with the majority of Americans. He is a zealot when it comes to any number of issues, most recently border reform. His latest little "oopsie" was when just this month he spoke before a neo-Confederate group called "League of the South". The highlight of the event was a rousing version of "Dixie" to close out the evening.

Okay, I take that back. That wasn't his latest "oopsie". His latest is his outrage over the arrest in Mexico of Duane "Dog the Bounty Hunter" Chapman. He's encouraging his supporters to write to Attorney General Alberto Gonzales about the matter (even though Chapman did violate Mexican law....) You can read all the fun stuff here.

I found that tidbit while looking for poll numbers. My point here is that we've got a politician like Tom Tancredo, someone who makes a whole lot of Coloradans and Americans shake their head in disbelief, and he's likely to win re-election. Again. And keep an eye on this one; in some circles he's being put forward as a Republican candidate for President in 2008.

So this is why we need Kinky. He's a breath of fresh air. He's not beholden to anyone but the voters of Texas. He's not so entrenched in partisan politics that he can't see that it's time to leave. He can still discern a good idea from a bad one.

Politics matter. Yours, mine, ours. I'm as interested about what happens in the Texas Governor's race as my own state's. Well, more so actually because in Colorado, my guy is about 17 points ahead in the polling.... Still, this matters. What happens in New York, in Texas, in California matters to the rest of us because as go New York, Texas, and California, so goes Colorado (and the rest of the states) eventually. Key states and key races are always worth watching because they can be, and often are, a sign of what's to come for the rest of us. California's smoking ban is a great example. The state-wide ban was passed in 1994 and enacted in 1998--years before other states did it.

So, give 'em hell, Kinky, and here's to more people-powered and citizen-centered politics in the future!

Stop Me If You've Heard This One

This is another thing I love about my neighborhood. Why does a bar called "Benders" have a mural of Morey Amsterdam on one of its walls?

If this is supposed to be someone else, they did a really bad job.

And if it's not Morey, who the hell is it?

Let Us Sing a Song of Ernest

Today, you get to meet Ernest--the baby. He's not quite a year and a half old and he's a holy terror. He's the ca-razy kitten. And the biggest dork around. Ernest's nicknames are Ernesto (the footballer who is too fat to play for Brazil; actually, that's Ronaldo but whatever), Fatboy, and Dorkwad.

He is completely and totally adorable, as you can see, but awkward and silly and everyone else just looks at him and walks away.

We got Ernest from our neighborhood pet food store. The owner also takes in strays. I'm no longer allowed to go in to buy food. The other cats begged Nigel to keep me out of there.

He's named Ernest because he has a very serious looking face. Our vet laughed and laughed when he met Ernest for the first time, commenting that it was one of the most fitting names he'd seen. He sort of looks like the stuffed Hobbes in Calvin & Hobbes

His head is tinier than the rest of his body. This cat has a very healthy appetite. He coos like a pidgeon when he purrs, and when he gets excited, he makes a peacock noise. And when you scold him (which is frequently), he has a "little girl" cry that he uses to try to garner sympathy. When he first started doing that, it was alarming, but now we know we're being played. He keeps us in stitches.

He's also very smart, in his own peculiar way. During the hottest part of summer, he figured out the best spot to catch the AC. And then rolled off the table....



His favorite game is Run Outside. See, our house is so hellish and these cats lead such a hellish life, that any time the back door is open, they run. Ernest excels at this game. And his new latest trick is to steal everyone's favorite sleeping spots. He's our only true lapcat and the others seem to get really jealous over the attention Ernest gets but no one seems to have worked out that Ernest is smarter than they are and he knows good living.

And because he's a kitten and wears himself out so much, he is also very good at resting.



The End.

Lights, Camera, Gulp

Last night (yes, on the erev Rosh Hashanah.... don't ask), I participated in a really cool event at a local university. It was part of their continuing ed opportunities and part of a whole weekend on writing and publishing.

I was asked to moderate a "conversation" about contemporary and independent publishing and begged off several times. Finally, I relented, though I didn't feel I was the right person to do it. Knowing this school's writing program and my co-panelists' backgrounds as literary publishers, I just didn't feel I was the person they ultimately needed, but I agreed. I have to admit--I was a bit flattered and star-struck. Not only do I think public speaking is generally a cool thing to do, and this is a pretty prestigious program (and something that will look great on a resume....), but we also had dinner at Anne Waldman's house.

Anne Waldman was one of the original beat poets, friends with Jack Kerouac and others, including Allen Ginsberg, with whom she founded the Jack Kerouac School for Disembodied Poetics (at said--Naropa--university.) Okay, how could I say no?

It was a great evening, starting off with the much-anticipated dinner at Anne's house. In addition to meeting Anne, I met Colorado's poet laureate Mary Crow. Yeah, I'm the kind of geek that diiiiigs this kind of celebrity. There were interesting conversations filled with talk of people I've never even heard of and loads of inside jokes, but fortunately I was able to keep up enough that I didn't have to resort to bringing up last night's "Survivor".

We arrived at the auditorium and I realized that yeah, this was a real and professional event. There were about 200 seats, most of which filled! There were three chairs on the stage, a low coffee table, microphones, and bright lights. There were cameras in the back of the room. Wait a minute. No one told me we were being filmed. I should have anticipated that, but alas did not.

After a few moments of heart-racing panic, I calmed, and off we went. I was anticipating the crowd to be completely different than it was. I imagined lots of writers just starting off, but many were already published, either in journals or books or both. I also anticipated that they would be writers of poetry and fiction, but just as many said they wrote non-fiction (we didn't get more specific than that) and several actually want to pursue careers in publishing!

There were a few awkward moments as one of my panelists had his own agenda, but I learned long ago that poets are impossible to rein in. Thankfully, things stayed primarily on track, the four page history of censorship in the United States aside. We talked about whether or not this is a good time to be in publishing (overwhelmingly, yes, but....), some of our peculiar industry conventions (publishers are currently working on Fall 2007 books), and the changing landscape due primarily to emerging tools such as blogs, RSS, and podcasts.

As I mentioned earlier, I didn't feel initially that I was the right person for the job. My background is in trade (bookstore) nonfiction publishing and my co-panelists both come from the poetry and literary fiction worlds. I wondered where, and really if, our worlds would intersect. Sure enough, they did--a lot, and those differences in our different parts of the world made for some fasinating conversation and differing perspectives.

Afterwards we got loads of questions and it felt really good to have been a part of it all. I hope we were able to help educate and spark some writers into pursuing their dreams, and encourage those who were interested in publishing careers to give it a try.

I woke up this morning having a dream about giving a presentation as part of a competition. There were two of us competing (for what, I don't know.) The last round had been a dramatic reading lasting seven minutes, and for this round, we had to look at a written work and give an extemporaneous interpretation of it. The woman I was competing against was named Meredith and she'd gone before me. It turned out that the piece we were using for this competition was actually something she had written and I was only a little freaked out, knowing that there was no way I could succeed in this task, as I was behind the proverbial 8-ball, with a huge disadvantage. Thankfully I woke up before I had to go on stage. I think this was a bit of residual stress left over from last night! So, while I'm glad I did it, I'm really glad it's over.

Late Night with Aaron Sorkin

So, my main issue with Aaron Sorkin's new NBC drama "Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip" is that it is on so bloody late. Who in their right mind places a show in the latest prime time slot available? People have to sleep, you know.

Yeah, yeah, don't remind me about VCRs and DVRs. We're having Technical Difficulties in our house right now.

Somehow I managed to stay awake for last night's premier (though I did keep sliding down on the couch) and I'll give the new, much-anticipated show two thumbs up. I'm a long-time Sorkin fan, from being one of the few (I think) who adored his little-noticed Sports Night, the show that launched Peter Krause and Felicity Huffman, to West Wing.

When West Wing wrapped last spring, I was glad to hear Studio 60 was coming and have been waiting for it all summer. It didn't disappoint. Pilots can be awkward, as writers and directors try to establish for the audience who's who and how they interrelate, but Studio 60 seemed much smoother than that, and in the scenes focused on Bradley Whitford and Matthew Perry, it seemed like they'd been working together like this, bantering back and forth, forever.

It is strange to see Chandler Bing and Josh Limon together on the same show, but I'm sure after a few episodes I won't be making that connection. I kept expecting madcap Chandler antics--probably involving a a few awkward moments about his third nipple, or perhaps for Rachel or Janice to burst onto the scene. This Perry is older, wiser, and more serious and his character appears to be one step away from losing it all. Perry and Whitford seem well-suited to be the next Limon/Ziggler; their chemistry together is great.

The pilot had shades of Sorkin's previous series (of course) but also the 1976 movie "Network", with several references and mentions of writer Paddy Chayefsky. I'll spare you a plot outline--either you saw the program, or if you didn't and you're interested enough, there are plenty of online sources. All-in-all, this was a solid effort wrapped up nice and neat with an Aaron Sorkin bow by the end of the hour, and I'm looking forward to the next 12 episodes. Welcome back, Aaron Sorkin, and hey, would you pass me the No-Doze?

New and Noteworthy

It was a fun couple of days at the trade show, aside from my feet.... my left big toe is still numb. Never, ever wear spike heeled boots to do a show, even if you don't have a booth. Stupid. Stupid. Stupid.

I didn't score a whole lot of books this year. First off, I'm not a bookseller and most of the freebies are for them, and rightly so. Also, today is scrounge and scavenger day, where exhibitors make deals with each other to swap the books they don't want to schlepp home for the ones they do. I'm not at the show today, and not even the promise of all the free books I can carry was enough to drag me down there. Your first year or so, it's all about the freebie, but now I'm a lot more selective and only came home with three books yesterday. Besides, being one of the scavengers is never attractive.

Here are some of the highlights from the show--the titles I got, the titles I noted, and some of the trends. In no particular order:

Still big for spring, novels set in India, Pakistan, and the Middle East. Saw tons of them but nothing grabbed my attention. After Kite Runner, The Rug Merchant, and The Space Between Us, I feel like I read some of the top in this genre last year.

Pirates and vampires remain strong topics in nonfiction. Also, there is tons of political nonfiction. Everywhere. Everyone's got a title criticizing the right, the left, or both.

The big book I was looking for is New York Times columnist Frank Rich's forthcoming The Greatest Story Ever Sold: Bush's America from Mission Accomplished to Heckuva Job, Brownie. I looked for this one at the Penguin booth at BookExpo in the spring and there was hardly a mention of it. So, I went by the Penguin booth yesterday and asked the rep working, since the street date is supposed to be Tuesday. She laughed and told me that Penguin is releasing nothing on this title--no advance readers' editions, nothing--because Rich is such a lighting rod and they don't want anything leaking about this book before its release. Guess we'll have to go to the bookstore, like everyone else.

The one I did get to see (but I don't have a copy--yet) is Lewis Lapham's Pretensions to Empire: Notes on the Criminal Folly of the Bush Administration. Lampham is the longtime editor of Harper's magazine and an excellent, articulate writer.

Along similar lines is the George W. Bush 2007 Out of Office Countdown Calendar. While a magnificent idea, my only issue with this is that you have to look at GW's mug every month. Perhaps we'll get it and place pictures of the cat over him?

Moving away from politics, there were all sorts of great things.

Hachette is releasing last year's The Sisters Mortland in paperback. This was one of my favorite novels from last fall, and while a bit on the predictable side, it was dark and compelling, nonetheless. If you liked Virgin Suicides, you'll probably like this.

In other fiction treats, I picked up a copy of the terribly-named and terribly-jacketed Sparkles by Louise Bagshawe. The cover you see on this link is not the US cover. It is really awful and I wouldn't carry this book on an airplane or in a cafe. So what made me pick up this book? The sales rep. A good sales rep and a good bookseller are worth their weight in gold when it comes to making top recommendations. My friend Eric, one of our Penguin reps, thrust this book into my hands and said, "Read it." I gave him a raised eyebrow and he said, "Trust me." And I do. I don't think I've ever been burned by one of his suggestions in the nearly 20 years I've known him. So Sparkles is now in my reading pile.

Another one I'm hoping to get soon (the exhibit hall was closed when the publisher and I went back to pick up a copy), is Small Acts of Sex and Electricity by Lise Haines. Unbridled Books is known for publishing "good reads" and they've never let me down yet. Small Acts is getting great critical reviews and I can't wait to read it. Unbridled is one of my favorite indie houses and they are known for their strong and consistent literary works.

A most prized treat of the weekend is the copy of The Zero that I picked up. This is a new novel--a "novel of September 12." There is no specific mention to 9/11 or to the World Trade Center, but they are everywhere within these covers. I've been wanting to read this, and when I was able to grab a copy, I was thrilled. Walter was at the show Friday night, and John, our local HarperCollins rep, told me he wanted to introduce us, but alas, I couldn't find them again.

Walter has been compared to Heller, Vonnegut, and Kafka. I can see all of these comparisons, but just 119 pages in to the book this morning, I'm also getting glimpses of Auster and Orwell. This is a dark novel, and not a happy one--but that's my favorite kind of fiction. There is a great New York Times review here and in this week's "Entertainment Weekly", The Zero made their "Must List". Trusted reader Carl Lennertz is loving it, too. Read this one; I don't think you (or I) will be sorry.

In nonfiction, I found some fun titles. First was The Daily Cocktail: 365 Intoxicating Drinks and the Outrageous Events that Inspired Them. Fun book, nicely presented. Not only do you get 365 drinks recipes, you get some fun history, too! Yay!

Next up is a book published by one of my dear friends (I'm admitting some possible bias here...) Follies of Science: 20th Century Visions of Our Fantastic Future. Feeling a bit cheated that we still don't have flying cars? This is the book for you. Nigel sat down and read it cover-to-cover this morning. Good stuff.

The only cookbook that grabbed my attention is the new one from my boyfriend Jamie Oliver. It's called Jamie's Italy and it's due out from Hachette soon (I don't know the date, but surely before the holidays). What could be better than Jamie Oliver and Italian food? Why, Jamie Oliver and Italian food together!

And need I say anything else about The Art of Living Well: Looking Good and Feeling Great by Joan Collins? I didn't think so.

I didn't get to see this one, but there's some good buzz about it right now (mostly from Bruce Springsteen's people, but whatever): Greetings from E Street: The Story of Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band. Chronicle always puts out quality books, and this one will be a bargain at $35 with its Griffin & Sabine scrapbook style. Maybe at last my mom will get the answer to her question: How does Silvio Dante have time to travel with Bruce Springsteen when he's got Sopranos episodes to tape?

Finally, we've all seen a gazillion books of pictures of cute puppies and kittens, but why didn't any of us think to do one of monkeys? Yeah, smack yourself in the forehead now--Jill Greenberg gives us Monkey Portraits, perhaps one of the best books ever published. It appears to go with an exhibit at the Paul Kepeikin Gallery, and a lot of the pictures are on the gallery's website. Brilliant!

So, here are some books to keep you reading as the days get shorter and colder this autumn and winter. If you read any of them, please let me know what you think. Bon appetite!

It's Trade Show Season

A sure sign of autumn is the first "fall regional" trade show. This year, my first and only show (yay!) is here in Denver this weekend. In publishing, this is the absolute busiest time of the year because there are so many shows and people are trying to wrap their holiday buying/selling. I think at last count there were nine different shows throughout the country. A lot of the reps I know cover at least three of those shows, and sometimes as many as five or six. It's grueling.

These are a lot smaller and more low key than BookExpo America, but a lot of work just the same. It's a great opportunity to meet with indie booksellers from around your region and sell them your latest and greatest. Most of the sales reps have already sold their fall lists--the books coming out between now and the end of the year. This is their first opportunity to sell their spring lists (January - June books), get additional orders for their fall lists, show the books that they actually now have in-hand because they didn't have finished books (or ARCs--Advanced Readers' Editions) when they were traveling during the summer. It's also a good opportunity to meet with the owners and buyers (often the same person) from stores far enough off the beaten path that they don't see sales reps.

It's also a good opportunity to drink on others' expense accounts and score free books.

I've been in the biz for 20 years next year, so I know many of the reps and it is so fun to catch up with everyone. There are always loads of laughs and some great reading recommendations. I'll be sure to pass along any books with good early buzz. So, I'm off to moderate a panel of booksellers and publishers talking about how to work better together (yippee) and to see a lot of old friends. Enjoy your weekend.

Thank You, Ann

One of my political heros died yesterday. Ann Richards, former governor of Texas, died at age 73 of esophagael cancer.

Ann was the perfect Texas democrat--brash, outspoken, witty, and warm. She was a champion of civil and women's rights, working in the 1970s for Texas to ratify the Equal Rights Amendment to the US Constitution. She brought penal reform to Texas, creating an addiction program for inmates. As her 60th birthday present to herself, she got her motorcycle license at age 60. And when she was struck with osteoporosis in the late 1990s, she became a spokesperson for women's health issues, leading by her examples of how to live a more healthy lifestyle.

She is, perhaps, best known for her keynote speech at the 1988 Democratic National Convention. It was a speech that fired up everyone and the crowd erupted when she uttered the unforgettable line regarding vice president George H.W. Bush (Bush I), ""Poor George, he can't help it. He was born with a silver foot in his mouth."

Thank you, Ann. You were an inspiration to me and to so many others.

“I have very strong feelings about how you lead your life. You always look ahead, you never look back.” --Ann Richards

Summer Has Come and Passed

Here are some late summer photos, taken in Denver's Washington Park. This beautiful park has wonderful gardens and I went out to shoot pictures early one morning last week. The sun is sitting lower in the horizon lately, plus we've had hazy skies due to a number of Western wildfires. It made for a beautiful setting.

As much as I loathe winter, I love autumn and late summer. It's such a pretty time of the year here, with bright blue skies (think Crayola "sky blue" in Technicolor), buttery yellow sunshine, and wonderful colors in the flowers and the leaves.

Alert the Media!

Somehow, some way, I've been awarded Reader of the Millenium on Duchess Jane's blog. I have no idea what I did to have this honor bestowed upon me. Perhaps it was all of the shameless begging and pandering I've done over the last few days? Perhaps it was the promise of red velvet cake? The picture of Tim Gunn and Santino that I sent? Little ol' me is flattered. Why, I've never won anything before!

I know I'll forget someone if I start thanking all the little people who helped me get here, but I do need to give props to Becca. If Becca hadn't encouraged me to start blogging, and if she didn't hate bloggers so much that she rendered them inelligible for her Reader of the Month feature, I wouldn't be here today. She's got an awesome Jew&A post on her blog right now. Go on, ask her, "Is it true you've NEVER tried lobster?"

And go visit Jane's blog. She's a hellufunny writer. And she's going to visit me and we're going to eat cake until it comes out our ears. I also promised her another picture, so here is a picture of her favorite cat, Kenneth. He sits like this sometimes, and just watches the world go by. He's a dork.


This weekend, Jane and some other friends are going to Boston for the Susan G. Komen Stagger, erm, Race for the Cure. This awesome group of 35 women has raised nearly $30,000 for the cause. If you'd like, you can go here and make a donation. Any amount helps--heck, $1 here and $1 there adds up (yeah, to $2.) Jane is one of the tireless cheerleaders of this cause, and I hope that she and all of my other friends going this weekend have a great time. Have a drink for me!

Keep Him in Your Heart for a While

Keith Olbermann on MSNBC's "Countdown" reminded us tonight that today is the third anniversary of the death of Warren Zevon. We were both sort of blown away that it's been so long. I knew it was this time of the year, but didn't realize it was today.

Zevon was one of my favorite musicians ever and I can listen to "A Quiet Normal Life" over and over and over (much to Nigel's chagrin.) He died at just 56 years old of lung cancer--for which he underwent no treatment, as he had a life-long fear of doctors. His last album, "The Wind" is magnificent. It's so painfully sad, not only because it was recorded while he was dying, but because of the parallels in our own lives at the time.

My nephew Nate was sick when it came out, and putting on this CD would choke me up like nothing else. After Nate died, almost two years ago, I couldn't listen to the album for the longest time. But it's a beautiful album, filled with energy and the participation of a lot of Zevon's friends. It's a must-have for anyone who is even an occasional fan.

All of his music is great--I can't think of anything I'd even call "marginal". And it's curious how relevant lyrics like these from "The Envoy" still are today, though they were written about 30 years ago:

Nuclear arms in the Middle East
Israel is attacking the Iraqis
The Syrians are mad at the Lebanese
And Baghdad does whatever she please
Looks like another threat to world peace
For the envoy....

So, I don't have much else to say tonight, except in the immortal words of one of my favorite songwriters and singers, "my shit's fucked up." Erm, no wait, I mean, "enjoy every sandwich."

Head-butt Butthead

At last, the waiting is over! We learned yesterday what lead to Zinedine Zidane's head-butt heard 'round the world during this year's World Cup final.

As you may recall, while running down the pitch (or up the pitch, whatever), France's Zidane and Italy's Marco Materazzi appeared to exchange words, with Materazzi then grabbing the Frenchman's jersey, resulting in Zidane turning around and giving the Italian the mother of all head-butts.

There was speculation that Materazzi had insulted Zidane's mother, his Albanian ethnicity by calling him a "dirty terrorist"--who knows what else. Truth was, the exchange went something like this:

Zidane: "Eef you waant, I geeve you the jersey later. Quelle fromage!"

Materazzi: "I preefer your seester. How do you like my Vespa? Ciao, bebe!"

I don't know why this makes me laugh so much--insulting Zidane's sister was a stupid thing to say, and the head-butt was a stupid thing to do, and I hope it haunts Zidane for the rest of his life. It doesn't appear that most (non-Italian) football fans think any less of Zidane for head-butting Materazzi, but I'd be curious to know what the French really think. And I'm sure that not a single day of his life will go by without someone, somewhere asking him or commenting about it. In the football world, most of the hub-bub seems to have now quieted.

France lost the match--and the Cup--due in part to this. Oh well, despite Zidane's retirement--announced before the incident--it should make for some interesting future "friendlies" and competitive matches between the two countries for a while. And that, really, is what it's all about.

(In mostly-unrelated news, does anyone really think Wayne Rooney will be a better footballer after spending a weekend in New York partying with the artist formerly known as P. Diddy? Really? The weird story is here.)

Mission Accomplished!

We're done. Well, done unless you consider that we've not hung any pictures and we still have kitchen painting to do, cabinets to refinish, and a floor to replace.... But this weekend's projects are done. Whew.

Nigel is a rockstar. He installed two kitchen counters, a sink, and disposal by himself. I just painted. The most frustrating part of the weekend for me involved dumping a can of Kilz on the (plastic-covered) floor and then sitting in it several hours later. I had to carry around a plastic bag in order to sit down yesterday. (For the record, I couldn't pull up the plastic when the accident happened because the plastic was protecting a large area of carpet. Feh.)

Here are some of the "after" pictures.


Celia was the first to christen the new counter.


No more Grape Ape. At least not in the bedroom...


The hallway leading to the bedroom is orange sponge painting on the top and Grape Ape on the bottom. Nice. Let us know when you want to come over with your paint brushes.

Day Two: They're Still Alive

So far, so good.

Let's look at some of my day.

Number of cats wearing paint: 1 (Ernest)

Number of cats trying to pull blue tape off the walls: 1 (Kenneth)

Number of cats pissed off: 1 (Alice)

Number of cats awarded Good Cat of the Day: 1 (Celia)

Number of times I said "fuck": 20, at least

Number of times I cursed Russell: 5

Number of activity points earned 700

Number of activity points eaten: 700

Number of egg and turkey sausage sandwiches on a green chili bagel: 1

Number of trips to a hardware store: 2 (one each)

Number of times Ernest attacked my ass from under the plastic while I was on the floor painting: 3

Number of times Kenneth made me stop to give him food: 4

Number of times he actually ate the food: 1

Number of naps Kenneth took today: at least 4

Number of times Nigel cut the hole in the countertop for the sink: 1

Number of times Nigel measured the countertop: 2

Number of screwed-up countertops: 0

Number of times I dumped the flimsy paint tray: 0

Number of times I nearly dumped the flimsy paint tray: at least 10

Number of times I thought of my 20th high school reunion: 2

Number of times I stepped off the second rung of the ladder thinking it was the first rung: 2

Age I currently feel: 80

Number of muscles that ache: all of them

Number of walls sporting "Vanilla Ice Cream" paint: 4

NPR programs listened to: Weekend Edition Saturday, Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, What Do You Know?, This American Life

Number of times I thought, "Wow, how cool that I know where they tape WESat and I know where Scott Simon sits.": 3

Number of birthdays Daniel Schorr has celebrated: 90

Cool thing I learned about Daniel Schorr that I didn't know before today: He used to work for Edward R. Murrow

Number of times I listened to Car Talk: 0

CDs listened to: The Wind (Warren Zevon), Sand in the Vaseline, Volume 2 (Talking Heads), Dancing in the Dragon's Jaw (Bruce Cockburn), Painted from Memory (Elvis Costello and Burt Bacharach), Summer in the City (Joe Jackson), Night and Day (Joe Jackson), Revolver (Beatles)

Number of showers: 0

That's where I'm headed now. Nighty night.

This May Be the Last You See of Me

Today begins our kitchen remodel project. After 11 years of marriage, however, we've gotten smart about these things. No, we didn't hire pros, but we both are taking on separate projects in different parts of the house. I will be painting our bedroom upstairs, while Nigel tackles the kitchen downstairs.

We bought our house from a dear man named Russel. Russel is an artist. An artist with a poor understanding of the color wheel. Slowly but surely, we're undoing the damage he created. Our livingroom used to be kelly green with bright blue swaths, and a high-gloss lemon yellow ceiling. The dining room was scarlet (and I do mean scarlet) with the same high-gloss lemon yellow ceiling.

Both rooms are now lovely shades of "cafe au lait" with pink undertones. Gorgeous.

Here are some "before" shots of this weekend's projects. I hope you can get the full impact of the kitchen colors. (Painting the kitchen will not take place this weekend.... We get the green for at least a few more weeks. Yay!)




Sorry, that last one is gross. But this is the state of our sad, sad kitchen.

And this is a shot of the bedroom. The colors have always reminded me of Grape Ape.



Our new bedroom will be a soothing and delightful shade called "Vanilla Ice Cream". What could be better, really? (Yeah, I picked it for the name Shaddup.)

So, off we go for the last Home Depot run. Wish us luck. If you don't see me again, it means we either killed each other, or one has killed the other and the one still alive is in jail. I've got my attorney on speed-dial.