And Now For Something Completely Different

Yesterday I went to the Denver Botanic Gardens to sit in the glasshouse. It was the best $7.50 I have ever spent. I was virtually alone in there; stripped off my gloves, hat, scarf, and coat, loaded up the MP3 player, and chilled.

I spent nearly two hours walking, sitting, and shooting pictures. Bob Marley's "Uprising" was great company. I can't begin to express how nice it was to see so much green, and to take in such wonderfully perfumed and warm, humid air.





I'd been in there about 90 minutes and I was thinking it was probably about time to get going. For some reason, I changed my mind and found a bench in the middle of the structure. I sat for another 30 minutes or so, under a canopy of green, picking out songs to listen to.


After listening to two different versions of "Perfect Day" (Kirsty MacColl and Evan Dando's, and then the best, the original, Lou Reed's), it was time to go. I could see big, wet flakes falling through the steamed-over glasshouse walls, and decided to beat the madness home.

Life During Wartime

Welcome to Day 8 of "The City Under Siege."

Crazy stuff in our normally fair city. Here's where we're at post-blizzard. Our street has yet to be plowed. Our alley is hopeless. I finally got the car out of the garage for the first time on Tuesday.

On Saturday, Nigel sprained his ankle and has been mostly unable to walk. The car was in the garage facing the alley. The alley is virtually impassable, and we couldn't risk that the car would get stuck there, as I'd be on my own (our neighbors are out of town.) Alas, it didn't, though there were a few nervous moments with spinning wheels, but the car is now out. Hurrah!

One of the strangest things here--something I've never seen in Colorado--is that the grocery stores are facing unprecedented shortages. On Friday, I picked up a few of the last red potatoes (the russets and new potatoes were gone), and Nigel picked up milk since the store I was at was already out, save four one gallon bottles. Thankfully, I didn't grab one of those. As it turned out, I walked home through the snow since my bus never came and in some places the snow had not been shoveled at all and I was trying to make my way through knee-deep patches. I would have abandoned the milk!

Well, now another storm is on its way beginning later today. While this one technically is not a blizzard (that has to do with sustained wind speeds), they're expecting nearly as much accumulation as we got last week. One of our local weather guys proclaimed with surprise this morning, "In my 20 years here, I've never seen back-to-back storms like this!" Oh, joy. And to think that the wheelbarrow in our front yard popped out yesterday. Thankfully, my hair cut that was canceled last week is on for this morning--I don't know how much longer I could suffer with this mop of hair. It's inhumane.

So, DIA just got out the last stranded passengers on Tuesday--just in time for more tonight and tomorrow. Schools are already announcing closures. I went to the grocery store yesterday to pick up a prescription and the place was packed, with huge gaps on the shelves. Bread: gone. Milk: nearly gone. Potato chips: gone. Eggs: gone. Ditali: gone. Garlic-stuffed olives: gone. So this must be what it was like to live in Soviet Russia or London during the War, eh? (I kid. I kid.)

I spoke with the cashier who told me that normally they get two delivery trucks a day but that they've gotten just two in a week, as stores all over the area have the same shortages. And she said this time people seem to be paying attention--everyone is after milk and the other staples (like frozen pizza and Buffalo wings.)

So, here we go again. Wish us luck. I got some groceries, some peanut butter to last a couple of days. I'm gonna grab the TV remote, chill with some On Demand and Netflix movies, see what's in the deep freezer to make for dinner, and hunker down for a few days. Just like in the War.

Christmas With the Jews

Ho ho ho.

Today is Christmas, or, as it's known in our family, Thanksgiving II. Thanksgiving II captures the best elements of the holidays of the season--a big family dinner, presents, and the Airing of Grievances. It's a festive time for one and all!

Like many American families, ours is an amalgamation of backgrounds and traditions. We were raised Jewish, but all three of us kids married gentiles. I married a latent Church of England ("Cake or Death?") agnostic, and my brothers married Catholic women, both of whom identify with their Irish roots. We make an interesting melange, I must say.

As my friend Becca noted on Magic Jewball (see right), in many Jewish families, today is a big family day because, well, we're all off work, too. And what else are we going to do when only K-Mart and the movie theaters are open?

Well, in my family, we get together for a big meal and presents!

Since my brothers both have in-law obligations now, we tend to do our get-together on Christmas Eve. Heck, doesn't matter to me. I don't have anything planned and I don't need to get to church or anything.

Last night was Thanksgiving II and boy did we feast--just like the other traditional Jewish-Catholic-Latent C-of-E agnostic families! We really outdid ourselves this year with a Mexican buffet. We had chicken and beef fajitas with all the trimmings--roasted onions and peppers, lettuce, sour cream, etc. We also had queso, green chili sauce, refried beans, King Ranch casserole, chips, salsa, guacamole, beer, and uuuuuurp. And then there was dessert....

Next was the present opening frenzy. My niece is three now and at the stage where she's moving on to the next present just as she finishes getting the wrap off the last one. She had so much fun she could barely contain herself and her evening activities involved three different outfits and lots of posing for the camera. She wasn't too thrilled when Uncle Nigel decided he wanted to play with her princess computer (don't ask.)

One of the funniest parts of the evening was when she served tea to all of the "boys" with her new tea set because the boys weren't invited to our girls-only real tea party a few weeks ago. And even though she's not a boy, Macy the Dog got tea, too, because she didn't get to go to the party.

We passed on the Feats of Strength this year. It's embarrassing each year when an 80 year old man (my step-dad) can't take a 36 year old anymore. Heck, it's the holidays, so we cut him a break this year.

We did, however, engage in the Airing of Grievances on the way home. We got the requisite "mother" vents out of the way and moved on to SUV drivers who think they're invincible in snow and ice and City plowing crews who announced on Saturday, despite neighborhoods such as ours that are still buried, that they were "done". That, as always, was a highly successful part of the evening.

I have lots of good holiday memories over the years, but this time of the year, one thing always stands out to me. When I was a kid--I don't know, 5 or 6 maybe, my dad would from time-to-time pull out his collection of 78 RPM records for us to listen to. He has loads of them, even still, but the ones I remember best were these bright yellow (almost a mustard color) with navy blue labels and silver writing. There were all sorts of silly songs on these, but my favorites were from a "Swedish-Hindu Spiritualist" named Yogi Yorgesson, a character created by a comedian named Harry Stewart. He sang "I Yust Go Nuts at Christmas" and "Yingle Bells". We would play these over and over and giggle madly. I still can't help but smile every time I hear them.

And now you can hear them, too! Through the power of the Internets, I've found a terrible, yet treasured, Web site that has several of Yogi's songs on it. So this is my holiday (whichever one you celebrate/d) gift to you--enjoy! May these silly songs bring a smile to your face today.

Yogi Yorgesson

Digging Out

The sun came out yesterday around 3:00. Now the dig-out begins.

Let It Snow, Let It Snow, Let It Snow!

Still snowing!

Here are pictures from 7am.



Remember this car from yesterday?



There is finally some light! These were shot around 8am MST. Poor little black car.



What wheelbarrow? Hell, all the prairie grass is gone now, too. And poor Scott's SUV!




Smart cats. They opted to stay in.


Now, at 9:20, the snow has really picked up again. It's now been snowing non-stop--and heavy--for about 28 hours.

We've just returned from a walk. It's about 2:30. Still snowing, but lightly now. A few new pictures--nothing too exciting. After a while it all starts to look the same.



Weird to see the Post Office closed four days before Christmas.


Me, playing in the snow!

Oh, the Weather Outside is Frightful

Snow day!

Well, for everyone who doesn't have the ability to telecommute, that is. We're expecting up to 24 inches of snow in metro Denver by lunchtime tomorrow. That's huge. Here, it snows a bit and melts. Prolonged snow storms and blizzards are unusual. Here are a few early pictures.

The first was taken at 7:30 this morning, not long after it started. The second was taken an hour later. We'll see how the day progresses, but I don't think I'm going anywhere for a while. Oh, and in case anyone was wondering, the cats are all snuggled up on duvets or in front of heat vents, safe and sound. ::eye roll::



Here's the 12:15 MST update. The wheelbarrow is disappearing....


Wheelbarrow is nearly gone, 2:00 MST.



I didn't have the heart to tell my neighbor across the street that it's a 24 hour drive to Dallas when the weather is good. She and her husband have a flight scheduled for tomorrow morning so that they can go on their honeymoon. The island they're going to has one flight a week from Dallas. Considering that I-25 and I-70 both are closed, I don't think they're going. What a drag.

About 3:00 MST:



4:00 MST. The wheelbarrow is gone!


And from the backyard:

'Scuse Me While I Kiss This Guy

One of the most fun Web sites on the Internets is Kiss This Guy, an archive of mis-heard song lyrics. Driving in to work this morning, I was reminded of one of my favorites, Bennie and the Jets (or Mets, thank you New York Mets!) by Elton John.

When I was a kid, and for years, I always thought the lyrics went like this:

She's got electric boobs,
I must have food,
You know I read it in a magaziiiiiine....

Imagine my surprise to learn that it wasn't that at all! And apparently I wasn't the only one who thought she had electric boobs....

Holiday Music Deathmatch

So, the other day my brother sends me a story about XM Radio's Chanukah music channel. I comment that I thought we only had the dreidel song--you know, Dreidel, dreidel, dreidel, I made it out of clay.... Apparently we have more--enough for a whole music channel!

So, I'm driving to work yesterday, surfing channels as I do. Lo and behold, "Yid Kids" appears on my read-out! This must be the Chanukah channel! I stop to have a listen. They're playing this morose sort of song called, are you ready? "Santa Doesn't Come To Little Jewish Children's Houses." Wow, how's that for uplifting and positive holiday spirit?

I don't know why the "Yid Kids" haven't made it bigger with a hit like that. I've been surfing and surfing this morning and the best I can find is a short clip here on Amazon. Listen and weep.

Then, having gotten quickly bored with that, I continued surfing, stopping for "Rudolph" (Yay! We love Rudolph!) by a band called Scribble Monster. Well, ya gotta stop and listen there. This was a totally kick-ass version of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer." After a little research, I learn that Scribble Monster is an awesome rock band with music geared for kids. Sadly, I can't find a link to their version of "Rudolph" but you can find Scribble Monster here. How can you NOT dig a band whose Web site is called Scribbletown? Please.

So, thankfully there really isn't Holiday Music Deathmatch because we Jews would get our asses kicked. Our Chanukah music bites. Yeah, yeah, I know Chanukah is a minor holiday and all of that, but there's really got to be more than "Santa Doesn't Come To Little Jewish Children's Houses" and "the dreidel song". We write Christmas music beautifully--"White Christmas", "Silver Bells", "Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire", heck, a Jew even wrote "Rudolph"!

Well, thankfully we do have Adam Sandler, so put on your yarmulke, it's time to celebrate Chanukah!

Ooooooper-Dooper!

Faaabulous.

After having Irving Berlin's "Puttin' on the Ritz" in my head all day--because of the death of Young Frankenstein (Fraaaahnkensteen) star Peter Boyle--and waking up free and clear of it this morning, the first email I open this morning contains this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MGN2aa3oQRM

Thanks, Scott. Now it'll never be out of my head. But it is a great laugh.

As Scott said in this morning's second email, God's gonna be laughing when he and Peter meet!

Mmmm, Hot Dogs

Yesterday, the air was filled with the magical scent of hot dogs. Yes, hot dogs.

We have this weird weather thing in Denver where, when a cold front is expected, the wind shifts and our city smells like Greeley.

For those who aren't familiar with the lovely town of Greeley in northern Colorado, this is the home of Monfort Meat Packing Plant, which is actually now owned by ConAgra (isn't everything?)

Living in Greeley, which I did for just over a year, is a real treat because the air almost *always* smells like manure. But in Denver, we only get it when the wind shifts.

The wind shifted yesterday, but oddly, the air smelled of both manure and hot dogs. D. and I noticed this as we walked out of the office.

"Do you smell hot dogs?" I asked.

"Uh, yeah. That's strange," he replied, and then added, "They're washing the building across the street. Maybe it's that. They're getting ready to paint the Islamic center."

I laughed heartily at that suggestion and then made some dumb joke about a Muslim hot dog roast and we went our separate ways. The smell (at least the hot dog part) did dissipate as I got closer to home. I wonder what it was? We'll see if there are discarded bun wrappers and mustard bottles outside the office this morning....

Another Reason I Love Fred

Fred on XM Radio, that is.

It's not every day you hear Altered Image's 1982 hit "I Could Be Happy". That was just what I needed to get my day started (well, actually, my day started with a work project at around 4:30 am.) I'm gonna have that fab little song in my head all day.

And who knew that Altered Images had two top-20 albums in the UK and enough music to have a "best of" album? I didn't. But I'm guessing Nigel did.... All I knew until 10 minutes ago was that they recorded one helluva dance number and that we all piled on to the dance floor anytime they played it.

Welcome to Our World Class City, Part 2

Where people stop being polite and start being real.

Yup.

MTV's "The Real World" is in Denver for season 18. Yes, you read that right. Season 18. *This* is the true indicator of our "world class status"--we're hip enough (or something, is it hip?) to make The Real World. We're cowtown enough that it's SEASON 18. I think this show jumped the shark, oh, maybe 10 seasons ago?

New York has gotten TWO seasons (the original--the classic--and season 10). Heck, even Seattle and Austin got Real World seasons before we did. When we heard the news, I couldn't resist commenting, "What's next? Real World Omaha?"

Anyhoo, it's a very exciting time here in our Fair City. First, there were a lot of rumors and speculation that they were actually here and filming, and then there were the 24 hour webcam and blog (actually, there are several blogs but this one seems to be best kept up-to-date) setup to track the housemates' every moves. And then, our local indie paper even punk'd us all by creating a fake cast and sending them around to be filmed in local bars and stuff. Pathetic, yet also sorta funny, too. It was an exciting summer 'round these parts.

So, now the show is on and we're FAMOUS, famous I tell you! The cast lived in the hip (yes, hip) Lower Downtown (LoDo) neighborhood in a space that has been several failed restaurants. And now we've learned that someone has purchased the house to create an upscale restaurant "building on what MTV started". Wha?

Okay, first off, in a typical move, the restaurant doesn't even open until April, at which time The Real World Denver will be a fading memory. I say "typical" because this makes the restaurant owners as edgy and cool as uh, Real World 18?

Secondly, from what I've seen in the half episode I've watched, all MTV has started is a lame TV show with a bunch of drunken sluts making out with and sleeping with each other. That doesn't seem to be a very strong premise for a restaurant, but whatever.

Our local cowtow media can't get enough of this, with stories about the speculation, the premier of the show, and now "exlusive!" looks inside the space, and stories about the restaurant. The father-son development group that purchased the 29,000 square foot space did so for (are you sitting down?) $3.3 million dollars--$600,000 more than MTV paid just six months ago. I wish them well. No, seriously. ::gulp:: (Source: Denver Business Journal.)

So now we're early in season 18, where people quit being polite and start being drunk and slutty. The show is a shadow of its former self, as The Real World was the first reality TV show of its kind. Still, we'll watch it. Who doesn't like watching 20 somethings in bathing suits and seeing great location shots of their own hip city? I want my MTV.

It's Been a Quiet Week in Lake Wobegon,

My hometown.

I'm in one of those odd periods again where I don't feel much like writing. I don't have anything interesting or funny to say, and the Republicans have been pretty quiet lately. Or, at least, they haven't done anything stupid enough to warrent a public scolding from me. This week.

It's almost winter and it's cold out. I'm more interested in watching movies than writing here, or heaven forbid, writing my holiday cards. Heck, it's even been ugly out so there aren't even any interesting pictures. We're in that grey snow, bare limb, pollution layer time of the year. It's not cold enough yet for ice fishing, but, oh wait, that's Lake Wobegon, not Denver.

Fear not. Spring will be here soon. Well, no it won't. But I'll be back soon. Surely there will be something to say.